What do you do when everything you believe no longer feels real? When you are lonely because before you could take it to Him. But is He even there? How do you move forward? Are you alone?
No, you are not alone. I have been there. I was there in October, I was there a week and half ago, and yet again, I still fight this on my bad days. So know you are not alone. It seems the church today doesn't know how to deal with doubt. Sometimes it seems they don't know how to encourage you, how to pray for and with you. How to point you to God in a way that doesn't degrade you for your lack of faith or make you feel inferior to them.
The only answer that I know of sounds so simple but it isn't. The answer is to fight. Fight by seeking God's Holy face. His ever near face. It could be listening to music, opening the Bible, or even sitting in silence and believing He is God. Making a choice to believe despite what you feel, when that belief is so hard. Believing that despite your fears and doubts He will come to you.
"Hear my voice when I call, Lord;It may mean praying to Him and telling Him all your fears and your doubts. Of everything don't try to hide your fears. God knows everything about you, he knows your thoughts.
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior."- Psalm 27:7-9
"You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely." - Psalm 139:1-4
Trying to hide the doubt isn't going to help. Acknowledge it, acknowledge your fear and give it to Him. Because what if God can take care of this? What if you just say it out loud, or even silently at your desk. You admit your disbelief and you ask God to help you believe. Ask him to take care of this situation, and then you walk away, accepting the peace that he gives. Not picking it back up.
Sometimes fighting means sharing your doubts, sharing the lies that you are hearing. Why is this important? Is it for support? Well that is important, but during constant attack from Satan you can't tell what is truth. So having someone there who can point you to truth is important.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:11-12
God knew this, he said it isn't good for man to be alone. Yes, I know many see this as a marriage verse. But what if it isn't? What if Eve was originally created because Adam needed help seeing through Satan's lies? What if our purpose here is to help others see the truth? That is why I think you need someone you can trust. Someone who can pray a prayer of protection and one who is willing to to with fight. That person can help you defeat the lies. Someone who can point you to truth, and point you back to God.
So today, give your disbelief to God. He can take it, he already knows about it so give it to him. He can handle it, He can help you conquer it. He can give you peace. I know he gave it to me this week. In those moments when you don't know the truth seek it out. Seek out a trustworthy friend who can pray over you, pray with you, and point you toward the truth.
Yes, Satan is going to tell you no one can handle your what your thinking. He is telling you that because he wants you alone, and defeated. Ask God to send someone to help you.
Take it from someone who has been there, you are loved more then you can image. The plans God has for you make take 50 years, and that hurts, but God has this. Trust Him!