About a year ago I started blogging. Sadly, it has been irregular posts and plenty of sturggles to find inspiration. Things don't go so well for me without inspiration.
Without any inspiration, feeling lost, and totally confused, I stand here. Trying to find truth in everything being thrown at me. So I guess my inspiration at the moment is going to be finding truth.
If you have read any of my blog posts you know that I am seriously struggling with something. One day I feel sure enough to stand on where I believe God is leading me. The very next day I am standing in tears confused, and 100% sure that I was wrong. The waves are about to over take me.
I hear the echos of pastors, parents, friends and family all telling me to pray about it. The passion comes and once again, there is the rock I stand on. Yet the cycle has begun again.
I am seriously tired. Then I am reminded about others who struggle is worse then mine. Which is the perfect opportunity for lies, and if I get past one without believing. Four new lies hit like waves.
I have heard so many times to test the spirit. Any spirit that denies that Jesus is Lord shouldn't be listened to. Okay, how can you test a spirit? Do you just way, "Is Jesus Lord?" and wait? No. You have to evaluate what you know, using not only your senses but evaluating everything through the Bible.
Well here comes the basic from my evaluations...
There are people whose struggles are much worse than yours! Yes, that is true, but each person filters their issues through their past circumstances. To make matters worse by evaluating this truth a lie seeps in. Your not worth it...your just being your bratty selfish self...
What a lie, yes I am thinking of myself, yes in ways I am being selfish, but in other ways I am being selfish by being so reserved, by steering clear of any bit of community, by allowing myself to believe the lies causing me to be confused. I am worth it.
So are you...
Dear Lord, please grant me and those who struggle with seeing the truth, disernment. Give us the ability to see through Satan's lies. Please remind us of our worth. In Jesus Name, Amen